Stay true, fi chroo.

Honeymoon stage of year two? Blinded by love? Whatever you want to call it, it is happening. And I am going to take it for all that it is worth. I will suck the life out of it completely and bask in its glory until the end.

.........

As I laid in bed last night before bed (post customary night swim in the Caribbean), I spent some time writing a letter to my dear friend, Katie Walsh. I like to go into serious letter writing sessions without any planned subject matter – to see where I end up by the time my hand feels like it is about to fall off. Very quickly into last night’s letter I transitioned to the topic of my current state of happiness.

As I have talked about in previous blog entries, these past couple of months, which have marked the starting of my second year, have been jam packed with many moments of further self discovery. I feel as though I am continuously uncovering more of my most authentic self. Through this state of truer being has come an overwhelming sense of peace and absolute joy.

Being myself at all times has always been struggle, as I believe it is for most people. It is natural for us conscious human beings to be worried of how others may be judging us for our actions and behaviors. I think it is about time we stand up and say “eff it!”

This short little (some may say semi-inappropriate) phrase has become my day to day motto. Though “screw it” or “go for it” may carry the same meaning, sometimes I think a little faux curse is just the right kick in the rear that I need.

For too long now I have been over thinking and analyzing things I do and say – and in a sense isn’t this limiting my true self? I have been holding back in ways that have kept me from enjoying moments in life. Why do this when I have no idea how limited my time may be? For me, what this all boils down to is the letting go of all self judgments – to be myself and not give a damn what others think – to enjoy, and embrace, who I really am.

So far my little daily motto has paid off abundantly. I have learned to push myself beyond my normal comfort zone and to allow others to give me a little boot as well (thank you, community mates).

Over time I can potentially see where this lee phrase may get me into a bit trouble, however, in the end, if I stay true to myself, that is what will really matter – I can always learn from the rest.

[P.S. Happy 21st Birthday Troy! Wish I could be there to celebrate!]